Archive for the 'Relationships' Category
William grew up with a mother who was depressed much of her life. As the oldest of three children with a father who was not around much, William took on a lot of responsibility for his mother’s wellbeing. He grew up as a kind and caring man, believing that he was responsible for another’s feelings, especially a woman’s.
Lauren grew up in a family where she received constant criticism from her father. From the time she was little, she had learned to try to do everything right in order to have control over getting her father’s approval and avoiding his disapproval. Lauren learned early in life to make others responsible for her feelings.
As so often happens, William and Lauren got together at their common level of woundedness, with William feeling responsible for Lauren’s feelings and Lauren making William responsible for her feelings. But it didn’t take long for William to feel engulfed by Lauren’s demands and to shut down as a way to protect himself from being controlled by her. The more William shut down, the angrier and more demanding Lauren got, and the angrier Lauren got, the more William shut down. Both felt deeply lonely in the relationship, each reacting to the other’s wounded self.
As long as William believed he was responsible for Lauren’s feelings, he was unable to feel any of his natural caring and empathy for her. And as long as Lauren believed that William was responsible for her feelings, she was unable to feel any of her natural kindness toward him.
The fact is that we cannot feel both empathy toward another and responsibility for their feelings at the same time. We cannot feel empathy for another when we feel burdened by responsibility for their feelings, or when we believe that the other is responsible for our feelings. As long as William continued to believe that he was responsible for Lauren’s feelings, all he knew to do was shut down. As long as Lauren believed that William was responsible for her feelings, all she knew to do was get angry and blaming.
Fortunately, William and Lauren were willing to learn and practice Inner Bonding. William did deep work on understanding the sources of his wounded self’s belief that he was responsible for Lauren’s feelings, and was eventually able to let go of this false belief, as well as learn how to take responsibility for his own feelings when he felt attacked or pulled on by Lauren. As he developed his loving Adult, he was able to take loving care of himself while staying open and caring about Lauren.
Lauren did her own deep Inner Bonding work to finally let go of her long pattern of making others responsible for her feelings. She discovered that her current feelings of abandonment were not because of William at all, but rather because she so often abandoned herself by ignoring her own feelings. She discovered that the moment she made William responsible for her feelings, she felt abandoned because making him responsible for her feelings was an abandonment of herself. As she learned to take loving care of her own feelings, her anger toward William gradually disappeared.
This is the most important work any individual or couple can do to bring about their own happiness and improve all their relationships. Learning to take responsibility for your own feelings and not for another’s feelings is vital for your inner peace, joy and loving relationships.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” and
Many men and women spend hours looking for the very best romantic gift for their partner. They desire to give their partner the world and to give gifts that truly show their love for them. Watches are ideal romantic gifts for so many reasons. When your partner wears this watch that you have given them each day, they will think of you and only of you. How many other gifts could you give them that they could easily wear daily?
Watches are not just romantic, they are also quite practical. This is an unusual combination for a romantic gift. Your gift is one that will express the sentiment of, I love you, and it will also take good care of your beloved partner each day. Giving watches shows that you care that your partner gets places on times and knows exactly what time it is. It shows that you want them to think of time as valuable.
The watch is also a lovely symbolic gift in a romantic relationship. By giving watches as a romantic gift, you’ll easily say just how precious time is with this person. That you are enjoying spending time with them. Perhaps you want to mark a special anniversary of a year, five years or even more time with your partner. Watches remind us all of just how time does fly. Giving a watch will remind your partner of the time each and every day.
Best of all, your watch gift is engravable. You can easily engrave this watch with a romantic saying of some type. Say something witty, funny, silly, sentimental just about anything you think your romantic partner would appreciate. Watches give you lots of engraving space so you’ll easily be able to say quite a few words. Many people select a favorite quote or saying to engrave on a watch for their romantic partner. This is a lovely way to make your romantic gift even more special. Most romantic partners share a favorite quote that is their quote or even a favorite saying that they like the most. Adding this to the watch gift makes is more romantic and meaningful.
Sometimes your partner has had their eye on a particular watch for quite some time. You know exactly which watch to get them because they’ve mentioned it or you’ve even seen them shopping for it. You know exactly just how excited they will be to receive this watch gift. Other partners choose this gift knowing it will be popular, but that it will also be a surprise. Perhaps their partner has been wearing an older watch for quite some time. They may have been talking about getting a watch but just haven’t gotten around to it. Your partner might have discussed the idea of getting a watch, but doesn’t know where to start. Fortunately, you know their taste and have a strong idea of exactly what watch will suit them.
Giving watches as gifts in romantic relationships is a sign that you feel this person is very special to you. A watch is a meaningful gift and you wouldn’t give this type of a gift to just about anyone. You’d only give this gift to someone that you truly cared about and wanted to make happy. There are so many reasons to select watches as gifts for your romantic partner. The best reason is that it will make them very happy!
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Unlike other breakups that seem to be expected or come from nowhere, it can be extremely hard being in a loveless relationship, trying to figure out if you should work on the relationship, or bear the pain of breaking up. Does it seem that whenever there is conflict between you and your partner, that neither of you are able to compromise nor find common ground to work out a happy medium? If you feel like your relationship is coming to an end and the break up seems inevitable, here are a couple of things you can try to salvage it.
#1 Stop playing the blame game.
It is all too common and easy that when relationship problems strike, to blame our partner rather than looking at ourselves for the fault. He is not interested at all anymore in what I have to say. She’s always so distant. Would it be too much to ask, for once, if he could just do something nice for me for a change. If she could just stop complaining I might do more things for her. By blaming your partner, it will only lead to them being on the defense. First you must love your significant other and accept them for who they are; you should avoid focusing on what they lack.
#2 Stop being so clingy.
Depending on your partner to do everything with you is a very serious habit that should not be developed. When you’re too dependent on your partner, it’s very common for a break up to occur. It’s important to know that you and your partner need time apart, and you don’t need them to run around on errands with you. It is not healthy to want to be with your partner all the time, it can be advantageous to both yourself and the relationship to find and enjoy hobbies that you can do on your own, outside of the relationship.
#3 How are you communicating with your partner?
In a healthy relationship, communication needs to be priority. Arguments, snide remarks and sarcastic comments are not effective forms of communication between you and your loved one, as these comments can be hurtful and are extremely disrespectful and demeaning to your significant other and may cause other problems. It is extremely inappropriate to speak to friends or colleagues that way, so why do you find it acceptable to address your loved one in that manner?
4. Stop listening to the negatives.
Are you always assuming that you know what your partner is thinking or doing? If your partner doesn’t cater to your every whim, do you convince yourself that they don’t love you? Stop going with your negative beliefs because they are not reality.
#5 Are you paying attention to your partner?
Are you showing an interest in your partner and what he or she likes? Do they have a fair chance when giving you their side of the argument? A lot of the time, we need to be right and don’t listen to what they’re saying. The next time you disagree, try using a normal tone of voice and listen to your partner’s point of view. No one is right all the time, and by not listening carefully you might be missing something important.
When the above actions fail and do not make any significant changes in the communication aspect of the relationship, it may be time for something more drastic. Time apart is recommended when a relationship has been pushed to its breaking point and both parties involved are suffering. Take this time, clear your head and decide what it is that you really want.
For a limited time claim your copy of “Win Back Your Lost Love” e-book at True Love Returns You can also find related tips and articles on getting your love back at Get Your Ex Back
Even though some breakups seem to come out of the blue, it can be just as painful, or even more so, when you and your partner no longer love one another. Is compromising or budging something neither of you will do because your are both equally bull-headed? If you have that dreaded feeling that a break-up is around the corner, there are several things you can do in order to try to save the relationship.
1. Put an end to the blame game.
The blame often goes to the other partner when the relationship starts to sour. He never pays attention to what I say. She is always so cold towards me. Couldn’t he do something nice for me once in a while? I might do more for her if she would just quit nagging me. Blaming the other party only causes defensiveness and does nothing to help the relationship. Begin to accept your partner for who they are instead complaining about who they are not.
2. Lose the neediness.
It is not healthy to always want your partner around to do things. One of the main reasons couples break up is dependency issues. You should understand that personal time away from each other is normal and healthy. If you want to be with your partner all of the time, take the hint — you need to find some outside interests.
3. Do you communicate?
Communication is the key to a good relationship. When you find that the only way you communicate is through arguments, sarcastic comments, and snide remarks, it’s time to stop because you are not communicating, you are merely being demeaning and disrespectful. Why speak to someone you love that way when you would not speak that way to your friends or colleagues?
4. Quit paying mind to false convictions.
Do you imagine negative scenarios related to what your partner is thinking about or doing? Are you listening to those voices in your head that tell you that your partner doesn’t care when they do not drop everything the minute you need them? By listening to false beliefs you only poison your view of reality.
5. Do you listen well?
Do you pay attention to and take an interest in your partner’s interests? Do you give them a fair chance by listening to their side of any disagreements you have? Sometimes the need to be right causes us to stop listening. When a problem comes up, try to talk in a normal voice and listen to what your partner has to say. You could be missing out on something very important — and no, you do not always know everything.
There are some relationships that will never change, even if you follow the advice outlined here. If that is the case, then your relationship is really suffering and you probably need some time away from each other. Use this time to achieve clarity about your situation so you can finally make a decision as to what you really want.
Can’t wait to get back together with your loved one? Would you like to re-capture their heart again? For a limited time claim your copy of “Win Back Your Lost Love” e-book at True Love Returns You can also find related articles at Get Your Love Back
Sometimes a break up can catch you by surprise, but it’s actually just as bad, if not worse, to be trapped in a relationship where neither person is in love any longer. Are both of you so insistent on being right that you can’t give in? If you think your relationship is in trouble but cannot conceive of the inevitable, here are some things you might want to consider trying so you might be able to save it.
#1 Don’t put all the blame on your partner.
All too often, we blame our significant others when things are going poorly in a relationship. He doesn’t pay attention to what I’m saying. She shuts me out. Why doesn’t he do nice things for me? I would do things for her if she did not bother me so much about them. It doesn’t help anything when you blame your partner for the things that are going wrong. It just makes them defensive. Begin appreciating your partner for who they are instead of who you want them to be.
#2 Don’t be so clingy.
It doesn’t make for a healthy relationship when you cling to your partner constantly. Dependency is the cause of a large number of breakups. In a healthy relationship, your partner should want time on their own, and you should be okay with doing some things by yourself. If you are being especially needy and always want your partner around, it should be a clue to you that you need to develop other interests.
#3 How is your communication?
A vital part of any good relationship is good communication. Arguments, sarcastic comments, and snide remarks inhibit communication because they are demeaning and disrespectful. If you would not treat a friend like that, why would you treat a loved one that way?
#4 Stop trying to read your partner’s mind.
Do you try to read your partner’s mind and project thoughts that might not be true at all? You might think that your partner doesn’t care for you just because they didn’t immediately come to your rescue. If you keep paying attention to those voices in your head, you will only become more bitter.
#5 Have you been paying attention?
Do you pay attention to the things your partner is involved in? Do you pay attention to what they are saying and try to take it to heart? There are times when we are so insistent that we are right that we can’t hear anything else. When you encounter another conflict, do not raise your voice — instead, listen to your partner. You might hear something that is important, and you might find out that you are not always right.
Even if you do everything listed above, it might not be enough to really change your relationship. If you reach that conclusion, you will have to take time away from the relationship. You can use this chance to get a better look at things and then make a final decision.
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Online dating service is not only free, but offer a lot of chances for both male and female date seekers to find their match. It is relatively easy and almost all of you with internet access can find dates through several dating sites available on the internet. With several social networking sites becoming more and more popular these days, looking for date opportunities through the internet could never be easier.
Finding dates through the internet have been so easy that a lot of people, especially females, handle their date seeking process with fewer cautions. Yes, free online dating service do save you from all the trouble of meeting with strangers, since you can get to know the person you are meeting with using chat or messaging features available on most online dating service sites, but it is not an excuse to be careless. You need to properly protect yourself; there are several online stalkers wandering around and the last thing you want is to be their target.
Protecting yourself, when it comes to online dating, is really not easy. The key is to provide sufficient personal information to allow people to get attracted to you, but not too much that you are giving away your privacy. online dating service offers complete safety, especially for female daters, and you should use such safety features to your benefits. It would be alright to post descriptions of you, and maybe provide a picture or two to let potential dates get to know you, but avoid posting personal information such as your phone number publicly. Make sure you take your time to get to know your dates before deciding to meet them. Besides, it will save you from having to go through bad dates, right?
For those of you having problems getting dates offline, online dating service can be the perfect solution for you. There are a lot of handsome men and beautiful women out there who have the same problems you are having, and they are available through online dating service sites. You will be able to chat with them and get to know each other; no more shyness blocking your dating opportunities this time. Once you are comfortable enough with your partner, the two of you can decide to take it to the next step and meet offline. This way, you will be able to protect yourself from all those dating problems and gradually build your confidence. You will be improving your love life without you even noticing. Before you know it, your success in online dating service will aid you with your offline attempts.
As you can see, online dating service offers great opportunities for all of you, both male and female, to be exposed to countless dating partners. You will be able to find the right date in no time. Plus, it is completely free; all you need is a nice cup of coffee and an internet access to get started. What are you waiting for? Explore the internet dating realms and find the kind of date you are looking for all this time. You’ll be surprised to see how easy it could be.
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In some couples the partners have very different finances because one comes from a wealthy family and/or earns much more than the other. They may also have differences in their understanding of finance, budgets, cash flow, or the importance of saving, investing and planning for the future. Plus they usually have deeper issues and anxieties about the symbolic meaning of money. These dynamics can cause conflict and unhappiness. In fact, if these differences are not handled and resolved they can lead to ongoing money battles and even destroy the relationship.
Here are five tips on how to break through the differences and come together as a loving team:
Tips
1. Recognize that money has a symbolic meaning.
Money means different things to each of you. It may represent issues of trust, personal and family security, power, freedom or pleasure. If you battle about money and don’t discover what the real concerns are, you and your partner will just keep fighting the same battle over and over again.
2. Discover the issues underlying conflicts about money.
Take turns interviewing each other like a reporter would. Ask your partner about personal needs, wishes, fears and long-term goals. Don’t make any comments, just ask questions and take notes. As you are being interviewed, don’t hold back, speak your truths and dream big.
3. Look for common goals and a shared vision of the future.
Review each other’s lists and look for the commonalities both in terms of fears and long-term goals. You will be surprised at the similarities. No matter how much wealth you have now, you both may be afraid of losing your lifestyle or being cut-off from the family’s wealth and ending up poor. On the other hand, both of you may want a life filled with children or travel and art but are unable to figure out how to create that future. To manifest this vision brainstorm together as a team.
4. Consider a win-win pre- or post-nuptial agreement.
This contract is designed to handle anxieties and fears. It gives assurance to the less-moneyed spouse that his/her needs will be met in the event of divorce or death. A financial agreement calms the fears of the richer partner because he/she will then not be exploited financially in the event of a bitter separation or divorce.
5. Create and agree on a long-term financial plan.
The long-term financial plan will get you to the future vision you both want to create. Many couples need to create a shared budget with his, hers and shared money to help fulfill these personal and common goals. Even if there is no need for the less-moneyed partner to have an income, it is very important for that person to have his/her own bank account and/or a fulfilling activity or career. These steps lead to greater self-esteem and reduce the power imbalance in the couple. For example, the less well-off partner may want to work for a low paying non-profit that is spiritually gratifying, while the other spouse enjoys working as an investment banker or in the family business and supports their lifestyle together.
You can learn much more about negotiating and resolving financial and other thorny love relationship issues in my new book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love.
Psychologist, Dr. Diana Kirschner, appeared on Oprah and is a frequent guest on the Today Show. For 25+ years she has helped thousands of single women find love. Her acclaimed new book is Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. For her etips, blog, dating articles, daily affirmations & discussion forum visit http://www.lovein90days.com
In this day and age where relationships are as disposable as plastic spoons, you should exert all efforts to ensure that your relationship is for keeps. After all, it is very difficult to find your soul mate in a sea of jerks that deserve nothing better than the sight of your soles! And speaking of water, you can actually enhance your love life with a home water filter. Find out how.
Money for Love
Of course, the installation of a whole house home water filter can initially cost you and your honey a pretty penny. However, you will notice the substantial savings gained in the course of its operation primarily in the reduction of expenses towards the purchase of bottled water. Imagine what you can do to your savings!
You can go out on dates you have previously postponed for financial considerations. How about that dinner date to the A-list restaurant with the famous souffl
If we analyze the way we respond to other people, we will realize that we feel magnetized by some and repulsed by some others. The magnitude of feelings for others is a direct measure of how attracted we are to them, or how deep our interest runs for these people. It all starts out with the initial meeting. We meet someone and spend time on casual conversation with him or her. Then we get to know more about his or her personality and our interest deepens. Subsequent to these, we feel like the other person has become a friend who we can talk to about anything. The relationship goes from formal to informal, from casual to personal and from strict to easygoing.
If we delineate the differences among the different stages of attraction, we come up with a short list of what actually happens when we fall in love with a person. These steps are illustrated in the following list.
Attraction to Physical Appearance
A person’s outward appearance is the first thing that others notice. A person who has ‘good looks’ will seem more captivating to someone who likes a particular thing about the way that person carries herself or himself. Some like brunettes, blondes and redheads; while others like men and women with jet black hair.
Liking another person’s way of dressing is also considered a part of the attraction to physical appearance. As the clich
People mostly miss their loved one for many reasons. Breaking with a woman is really a hard thing to every guy and it is not very easy to get his girlfriend back. If you can’t forget your girlfriend, don’t be frazzled. Get your loved one back by doing what she likes. Sit and think! Do you really want her back? What went wrong? Is that your fault? Get answers for all these questions first and further get into a conclusion!
After deciding to get back your girlfriend then consider factors like, Was there another man? Is she still interested in you? Everything should be evaluated in a realistic manner. This will give you a clear vision on what to do, when to do and how to get back your girlfriend. Know the correct reason for the break up and change yourself. Correct your mistakes and be yourself as before, when she fell in love with you.
Develop attractive personality to magnetize your girlfriend. Call her for lunch every week; do everything she likes, care her very dearly, send gifts to her regularly. Show her yourself confidence and prove your true love and affection in better way. All these will generate bright sparks in your girl friends mind and heart, and obviously it will bring her back to you very safe.
There are the deliberately manipulative approaches, like dating other lady will make your ex come back. Women jealousy will show off when their boyfriend dates with other women. As soon as the other woman makes an entry into your world, you become a trophy between your current and ex girlfriend. This is very effective way to get back your ex.
One important thing that you must have to find is, ensure that your girlfriend also has a soft corner on you. This will give you a better idea to understand your girlfriend dearly closer and bring her towards your side. It is really important to be loyal and honest, while you express your love and care to her. There are quite several techniques you can follow to get your ex girlfriend back.
You can invite and take her to a coffee shop. Express your deep regrets for what has happened! If possible ask her, whether you can talk something about the situation that created troubles between you both. Because, this will be the best time to explain the tough time, you had before. You can also ask her, which made things wrong either your work, or your attitude or your character. This will surely bring a better understanding to bring your ex back.
If your girlfriend loves you to see really fascinating and gorgeous with cool pleasant wears, then give importance to her favorites. Consider and find out whether you have changed? This should be closely analyzed, because the girl really loved you as she felt you are really good and match her taste very close to her heart. Moreover, she must have loved you closer, as you were prompt in fulfilling her emotional expectations and needs. Behave with a positive attitude and express your bright smile to her. All these tips and techniques will help you to get back your ex girlfriend. Moreover, the girl will understand you much better than ever before.
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